1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
