that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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