I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
