We should be called the Road Head Warriors
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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