Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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