I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Randomize
