I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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