ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
