Don't make out with my wife yet
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Randomize
