i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Randomize
