nut hugger
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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