I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
