worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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