12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
i was born a porn star she said
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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