So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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