It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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