with your own penis?
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Randomize
