Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
