Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
