I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
