How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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