Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
