On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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