I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
