grandma shit on top of the toilet
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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