He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I would ride that face into the sunset
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
