i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
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