HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
being pregnant is like rehab
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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