he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
