Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
