Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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