What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
honey bunches of taint.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
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