he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Randomize
