Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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