New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
