the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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