So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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