I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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