The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
