An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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