dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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