I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
