So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
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