do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize