pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
