Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
