If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
