She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
