Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I accidentally burped into my bong.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
