Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
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